Harley Rotbart, M.D.

Apr

21

No Regrets Parenting is FunDippityDo Night

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Among the many joys of speaking to PTAs, PTOs, and other parent groups around the country is the chance to hear YOUR ideas for No Regrets Parenting. Yesterday I was honored to present my No Regrets Parenting Workshop to the Annual State Convention of the Colorado PTA. What a wonderful organization, and many thanks to President Karen Hobson and Workshop Organizer Rebecca Stumpf for putting on such a nice program. But, to get to the point…there was PTA magic at the end of my presentation.

I had just gotten to the “Taco Night” part of my talk.  Here’s the gist of what I said: Pick one night a week for a theme dinner to add a little pizzazz to family meal time.  Taco night, pizza night, Chinese night, fancy egg night, pancake night.  Kids love to go out to eat, and they’re often more animated and engaged in a restaurant than they are at home.  But you don’t need to go to restaurants to have fun venues and exotic menus. Turn your kitchen into a Japanese sushi bar or an Italian bistro once a week—or do each on a different night for twice the weekly benefit. Your kids will be even more excited about sitting down together if they have their favorite foods on a regular basis. And when kids are excited and having fun, they are energized in their conversation and in sharing their news at the dinner table.

I went on to explain that special dinner nights are also unique opportunities to increase kids’  involvement in the meal-making , and thereby increase the quality time you spend with them. That, after all, is what No Regrets Parenting is all about – capturing more minutes with  your kids and turning those minutes into moments. When you create recurring themes for dinner, kids can assume bigger roles in getting the food to the table, because they’ll start to remember the food preparation steps from the last taco night. Washing the vegetables, stacking the tortillas, mixing the salsa, and gossiping about the latest news from school. Of course, I joked, you’re still in charge of blending the margaritas! I also mentioned the fabulous idea radio host Lizz Sommers shared with me for her family’s special themed dinner night – Saturday night Candlelight dinners (see my post from March 16: http://www.noregretsparenting.com/candlelight-dinners-for-no-regrets-parenting/).

And that’s when the magic of PTA presentations happened. A mom in the 2nd row raised her hand and asked, “Can I share one of our special dinner nights? At least once a month, my 4-year old daughter asks if we can have FunDippityDo night.” She went on to translate – Fondue Night! And the 4-year old is in charge of tearing the bread! I was so taken with the idea, I repeated it twice so everyone in the room could hear. But, although I managed to ask the mom if I could share her idea with others in my future presentations –  I forgot to ask for her name to give her credit! So, if any of you from my workshop know this creative mom and can pass this blog post on to her, I’d love for her to comment and, if she’s willing, give us her name for appropriate kudos and No Regrets Parenting immortality on this blog.

I welcome your suggestions for FunDippityDo nights, and all other ideas for special dinners with your family.  Please add your comments in the box below. If you don’t see the box, click on the title of this post and it will magically appear.

 

 

 

Apr

17

No Regrets Parenting at 1122 Spruce Street

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I was taping a No Regrets Parenting radio interview for Joanne Wilson’s The Parent Report (http://www.theparentreport.com/) yesterday. The producer/sound engineer running “the board” in the studio was a nice young man named David (name changed in case he’d rather be anonymous). My discussion with Joanne was far-reaching, touching on all aspects of No Regrets Parenting. When the topic got around to establishing family traditions, I spoke about the “big traditions” that families develop around big events – Thanksgiving, the December holidays, birthdays, etc. I also explained why it’s important for families to establish “little traditions” that are unique to each family. Silly, funny, warm, and touching observances that parents and kids will remember long past childhood.

Among the “little traditions” I gave as examples: hanging balloons from the ceiling above the kitchen table on the night before birthdays so the room is festive and special when the birthday boy or girl wakes up on their day; making a unique (and embarrassing) “family noise” when family members only were in a closed elevator; celebrating quarter-birthdays with a quarter of a cupcake, and half-birthdays with half a birthday cake; a party for the first lost baby tooth and the last lost baby tooth; a special dinner on the first night of school and on the last night of school – and there are, of course, an infinite number of others. It doesn’t matter so much what the “little traditions” are, but just that we have them and observe them. The two key elements of all traditions, big and little alike, are repetition and anticipation. Observe the traditions often enough that they are fun, not so often that they become routine and boring, and then kids will anticipate the traditions in the minutes, days and hours leading up to the moment. Waiting for the elevator, hoping no one outside the family gets in, and then waiting for the doors to finally close with the family inside are as much fun as the noise everyone makes once you and your family are alone.

After the radio taping, David, the producer/sound engineer, told me that the traditions discussion reminded him of a favorite “little tradition” that he and his family observed. They grew up at 1122 Spruce Street (address changed for anonymity), so from childhood until today, whenever more than one member of the family is together at 11:22 a.m., or 11:22 p.m., they look at each other, raise their hands, and say “woo-hoo!”. Now grown, they still notice 11:22 each day, and say a muted “woo-hoo” even if they are alone. And last year, David’s sister texted him “woo-hoo” at exactly 11:22 one morning when she happened to be looking at the clock precisely at the right hour.

Little traditions make big memories.  www.noregretsparenting.com

 

Apr

14

Free signed copy of No Regrets Parenting for Mother’s Day

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Mother’s Day is around the corner. Be prepared, and be rewarded with free signed books! Read the Scary Mommy and NYT reviews linked below to see why No Regrets Parenting is the perfect Mother’s Day gift for yourself and all the moms on your list:

Scary Mommy: “Why did Dr. Rotbart’s message strike such a chord in me?”  http://www.scarymommy.com/saturday-286/

NYT: “Dr. Rotbart’s book is something special”  http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/16/childhood-940-saturdays-and-youre-done/

The editor-in-chief of Parents magazine wrote: “Dr. Rotbart’s book turned my head around.” Read all the reviews by clicking the “Reviews” page on this website.

When you buy four (4) copies of the Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com bestselling book, No Regrets Parenting, for all the moms on your gift list, I’ll send you a free signed copy of No Regrets Parenting for yourself;  it’s that simple. Free shipping on the signed book, of course.

Here’s all you have to do: purchase four (4) copies of No Regrets Parenting in any bookstore or online (amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, indiebound.com). Send me an email ([email protected]) or leave a comment in the “Contact” box on this website letting me know you bought the books, and I’ll give you a fax number to send a copy of your receipt confirming your purchase. As soon as I get the faxed receipt, I’ll send your free signed copy of No Regrets Parenting (did I mention free shipping of the free books?).

I’ll be giving away 100 free signed books between now and Mother’s Day. Don’t miss this great chance to give and to receive.

Apr

09

Stupid College Tricks, and No Regrets Parenting

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Over spring break, our college sophomore son took advantage of having his parents and grandparents at the dinner table to show us something he learned this semester in school and was very proud of.  A No Regrets Parenting moment, we  hoped, was about to occur. He retrieved a spray can of Reddy Whip from the frig, squirted a dollop on his right hand, moved close to his grandparents so they wouldn’t miss the moment, and then slapped his right forearm with his left hand, sending the whipped cream high into the air. And then he caught it all in his mouth. Not a drop spilled, no cream in the eyes, a perfect landing.

And for this, we pay about $50K in tuition each year.

We might have had some residual Reddy Whip concerns about college priorities and life goals when we visited campus this week to share the holidays with our son and daughter. But any doubts about what our kids were really learning, and how they were maturing, were quickly dispelled. The whipped cream boy and his sister mobilized a holiday dinner for 70 friends, ordering all the food and wine, balancing the budget, and leading an inspiring and goose-bumpy program. Afterwards, they and their friends cleaned up the frat house to look better than it did before the dinner started; mind you this is not a big compliment, but it’s something. No whipped cream or other stupid college tricks to blemish the magical evening. On the contrary, our kids’ college friends helped cook and clean, repaired the oven just in time to warm the food, managed to get the bathroom water flowing again, and rearranged the monstrously heavy frat furniture several times to accommodate the surprisingly large turn-out.

Sure, as parents we hope our kids focus on their classes and homework, do well on their tests, gain important and worldly knowledge, graduate (in 4 years), find work or graduate school after graduation, and go on to lead happy and successful lives because of their high-priced college educations. But, for right now, knowing that there’s more going on than flying whipped cream is enough. At least for an evening, we watched our kids become young adults before our eyes.

Looking back at their childhoods, and looking forward to their futures, we are blessed to have no regrets.

www.noregretsparenting.com

Apr

09

Saturdays are No Regrets Parenting days

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Here are two beautiful posts about the importance of time with our kids. Although they focus on Saturdays, they apply to every day (and every moment) of our parenting lives:

From the NYT, by KJ Dell’Antonia:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/16/childhood-940-saturdays-and-youre-done/

From Scary Mommy, by Rachel Macy Stafford:

http://www.scarymommy.com/saturday-286/

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